It's Near a Crash

Three life-altering bombs being dropped on me in the space of six days is just a bit too much.

I don't think I've ever been so close to having a mental breakdown. I know I need help. I just don't know who to talk to. Have a call in to the man who did our pre-marriage counseling. Even if he doesn't have time to meet with me soon, I hope he'll be able to give me a referral to a professional who might be able to help me sort through things. 

I realize I'm known for holding things together even when things are falling apart. But I can't hold it together any more. And I don't mean some sort of emotional melt down where I can't stop crying. I mean something way beyond that.

And because of the nature of two of those bombs that were dropped on me, I can't even blog about them. All you need to know for now is... I desperately need God's help, and wisdom, and strength.

My mom and dad and PC know everything going on. And one friend. Who, thank God, is local-ish. But since one of those bombs involves her family, too... well, I'm not sure if I should be thankful to have a close friend who does know what's going on, or be completely humiliated that she does. *sigh* So far beyond coping that it's not even funny.

Hugs and chocolate don't fix some things. Some things can't be fixed. Except, I suppose, by God Himself. But I'll be honest... I'm questioning if even He can fix some things. Yeah, I know. I know that's bad. But it's...

where I'm at.