It's Shocking - Part Two

Well.

BB may have been the one to surprise me the other day, but today it was LM.

We were at dinner, and something came up in conversation about the time while PC and I were going together/engaged. Somehow PC and I got on the topic about how he was not at a good place in life when we met, and how he had even attempted to break up with me a couple different times because he realized I was "too good for him" at that point. I agreed that if it hadn't been for some very specifics promises and reassurances from God that I would have been running far and fast. BB piped in and said he remembered the one day PC tried to break up with me, because he'd been listening in to a conversation he shouldn't have. (Not really his fault, since he was playing in the next room and we WERE pretty upset.) He said something about crying and getting really upset because he didn't want us to break up. (I vividly remember this day, and seeing him sobbing absolutely broke my heart. That had been one of my big fears in getting to know PC. I knew the boys had been through more than enough hurt, and I didn't want to take a chance on hurting them again. Dating/courtship stinks when there are kids involved. I was more concerned about them than us, I think.)

Anyway. Next thing I know, the boys are comparing notes about all the things they would have missed out on if we hadn't gotten married...
"Just think of all the things we've learned since they got married!"
"Think of all the new friends we have!"
"Think of all the books I would never have read!"
"Think of all the places we wouldn't have seen!"
"Think of all the time we would still be wasting on the Wii!"
Etc, etc.

And then LM gets this funny little grin on his face, and says "It's more than that though."

The rest of us just looked at him. I finally asked what we were all thinking. "What do you mean?"

He still had this goofy, almost smug smile on his face, and said "Well, you and dad getting married was an answer to prayer."

PC and I were still trying to absorb that, I think, but I managed to follow up with "it was?"

"Yep. 'Cause one time when I was really little I was in Sunday School and they told us to pray about something that was just between us and God, and to not tell anyone. [Looking even more smug by the minute.] And I prayed that Dad would get married again. And I never told anyone."

I was in shock. 

I looked at PC, and he had a dazed look on his face, too. But then I saw this huge smile start coming across his face, even though he didn't say anything.

Later, when I'd had time to process, I went back to LM and asked him if he had prayed anything specific, or just a general prayer that his dad would get married again. He kind of frowned for a minute, and said "It was a long time ago, and I don't really remember." 

Regardless of him not remembering specifics, I think I'm still in shock. My LM prayed about this?!? 

Well.

No wonder I didn't have to deal with some of the typical I-don't-want-my-dad-to-marry-you stuff that some stepmoms-to-be have to deal with.

They really DID want this.

It's Shocking

Had an absolute shock today - in a good way! BB never ceases to amaze me. 

Out of the blue this afternoon, he looked up from his book and said "Thanks, Mom. For helping me with so many things since I've been up here. For helping me find new interests."

*gasp* Seriously?!?! This? From my stick-in-the mud son?

*gleeful dance*

You don't even KNOW how much that made my day. 

Sometimes I've worried I have pushed him too hard and too fast. But maybe I'm doing okay. Or rather, maybe WE'RE doing okay. :-)

It's When I'm Reminded

... of things I don't like. Like, for instance, I'm not their bio-mom. Most of the time, I'm completely MOM. PC says that in his mind, I AM their mom. PC's family says that in their minds I AM their mom. Most of the people I'm around on a weekly basis treat me as if I AM their bio-mom. Even the boys themselves treat me as if I am completely mom - other than the rare times they talk about their bio-mom, in which case there is obviously a distinction given for the sake of the conversation.

But sometimes I get reminded I'm not. And that stinks. And sometimes it's startling. Like when I'm dealing with medical issues for the boys, and have to fill out paperwork. Our last name is the same, so most of the time I can "fake" it - in the sense that I AM the one caring for them, and I'm the one making arrangements for them, and dealing with all the legal/medical/etc issues. And generally (presumably because our last name is the same - why WOULD they question anything??) I don't even have to deal with being labeled "stepmom". But I had a couple different incidents lately where someone would not speak to me about them, because I'm not their biological mother. 

Delightful. You'd rather speak to someone who hasn't seen them in three years? (Or is it four now? I've lost count.) You'd rather speak to someone who abandoned them when they were 3 and 5, than the person who is homeschooling them, cooking for them, cleaning for them, taking responsibility for their medical issues, shopping for them, teaching them, training them, playing with them, helping them, talking to them, encouraging them, scolding them, hugging them, loving them? 

Yeah. That makes perfect sense. 

Because obviously, she cares about them more than I do. 

Yeah.

My horrible side would enjoy giving an inappropriate response like "Grow a brain, honey." But then my somewhat nicer side takes over and I realize I can't give that answer. 

So instead, I blog. And subject my poor readers to my sarcasm. Sometimes I feel badly about that. Because my readers have been SO supportive, and kind, and send me encouraging notes both on and off the blog. It hardly seems fair to them. But then I remember that anyone offended by my sarcasm can stop reading any time they wish. Because the friends that stick around don't seem to mind riding the waves with me, and being 

where I'm at.

And for that, I'm grateful.

It is so good of God to give me friends that laugh with me, cry with me, pray with me, celebrate with me. 

I'm blessed. 

And if the stupid people don't ever grow a brain... well, I have a God and very large support team of friends and family behind me. I don't need their brain anyhow. ;-)

******************

P.S. Lest anyone get too worried about me... it's been good lately. Today was just a bit frustrating and I had to vent a bit. I'm sure after a good sleep I'll be back on top again. :-)

It's No Surprise 2

Found out bio-mom is living with her latest boyfriend. I'm disgusted, but definitely not surprised. One man to another; one bed to another. What a revolting way to live your life. 

And no, the boys will not be visiting you.