It's Amazing

Today I heard one of the nicest things PC has ever said to me. He had been putting some laundry in the machine (in the garage), and came back in the house halfway through the job to tell me this, so I knew he was being very intentional about wanting me to hear it.

"Do you know?... I'm living IN my fantasy life." 

He explained further (and I won't even try to quote exactly, because I would get it wrong) how when he was young, and was unhappy with the way some things were in his family, he would "escape" by reading books about families that loved each other and helped each other. As he got older he would "escape" by playing computer/video games where you could be the hero, with big muscles and be in control of everything. He said that sometimes he goes back to the escape mechanism by default, and finds himself "hiding" from life... only to realize he doesn't have to do that anymore. 

"You've given me my fantasy life."

All the things he'd told me while we were going together about what he'd always wanted in a family, in a marriage, those are the things I have worked and worked and worked at trying to give him during the last year and a half. I wanted him to HAVE the loving relationships, to BE the hero, the provider, the protector for our little family, to ENJOY being married and coming home to us each night. I wanted to create a peaceful environment for him to come home to. I knew he wanted a HOME - not a house. I knew he wanted a WIFE - not a business partner. I knew he wanted a FAMILY - not disjointed, independent people living under one roof. And those are the things I'm working so hard to help facilitate and/or create. 

Hearing that I'm succeeding was... huge.

It's not just the boys that are healing right now.

The funny thing is, even though I haven't been in the same situations and sour relationships he has been, I think I know what he means. Because I keep catching myself suddenly thinking "Hey! I'm living the life I've always dreamed of!" 

I'm not a career gal anymore - even though I'm currently running about 4 home businesses at once. I'm not a music teacher anymore - I'm homeschooling two teen boys, yes, but I'm more concerned with teaching them about healthy lifestyles and relationships and a love for God. I'm not dealing with yucky customer service issues anymore - I'm dealing with yucky laundry and dishes. I'm not running back and forth between 2 or three jobs - I'm running back and forth between the grocery store and the post office and the bank and Ross and a few dozen other places. 

And I'm crazy busy some days. 

And I'm just plain crazy some days.

And I'm loving it. 

It's No Surprise

I saw this one coming from way back, so it's no surprise to me that bio-mom has left her latest husband. She started a pattern way back when, and it shouldn't be a shock to anyone to see the pattern continuing. How guys can get fooled into thinking it'll be "different this time" is beyond me. If she left her husband and abandoned her children, she'll do it again. And again. Those kinds of character flaws don't just leave. They get worse. Unless Jesus really gets a hold of someone's heart.

It seemed awfully suspicious when she moved back to her home state after living elsewhere with her latest husband... leaving said latest husband where he was. The excuses of "missing the boys so badly" just don't ring true when she moved halfway across the country from where they are. If the boys were honestly her motivating factor in moving, then she would have moved to be nearer them - not 2500 miles away from them. I hope the boys see this for what it is. But I'm certainly not going to point it out to them.

It's the Best of Times

No, really, I mean it.

Here's the bad news: PC has been out of work since October 30.

Here's the good news: PC has been home since October 30. 

See what I mean?

It's been absolutely lovely having him around the house. Remember all the trouble I was having with the boys and their math? (Or did I forget to blog about all that?) Well, he's taken it on. Yep. He is now the official math teacher. And not only has it made my stress load go way down in the mornings around here, but the boys seem to be responding well, and getting better grades. (Mixed feelings about that. It's great that they're doing better. It's great that it's a connecting time for them and their dad. But it makes me feel like one really crummy homeschool mom.) 

God opened up the doors a couple weeks ago for me to do some alterations work from home - ongoing. And, since I obviously can't absorb hours more work every week on top of what I'm already doing, PC has been helping with all kinds of stuff around the house to free me up and take some pressure off. Things like making bread, cooking dinner, doing laundry, mopping, etc. So not only am I getting to spend more time with my wonderful man, but I'm getting a bit of a break with some household stuffs. And the income from this side job is really good right now. 

Funny part is, the company I'm doing alterations for is opening a new location soon. Very near our house. And the head guy asked me a few days ago if my husband had found work yet. They're interested in possibly hiring him at the new location. Yeah, weird. But it would be totally like God to open up doors in such a funny way.

Stressful? Duh. I have no idea where the money is coming from to pay the bills stacking up on the printer. BUT... I had no idea where the money was going to come from to pay the bills I paid today. And the ones last week. But somehow, God made a way. And we're fine. No, we're MORE than fine. Because I genuinely believe we're right where God wants us for now. The bonding time, the relationship building that's going on, the lengthy talks PC and I have had about life as it is and about how we want it five years from now, the laughter, the lessons in trusting God... all of these things I am immensely grateful for. And I wouldn't trade this time for a big house and a fancy car. Not a chance. 

It's the best of times.

It's Laughable

Pretty sure I win the prize for worst wife of the day. Not only am I ever-so-attractive today running around in an old knit skirt and baggy denim shirt with holes and paint splatters on it, but I realized at about 4 pm that not only have I not done my hair today, but I HAVEN'T EVEN BRUSHED IT OUT. Mix that with feeling waddle-y pregnant and add a stuffy nose to the mix, and.... voila! You get a picture of what my poor husband has been looking at all day. I'M ONE OF -THOSE- SAHM's!!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

I'll admit I'm laughing at myself today. Part of the problem was that I let myself sleep in today in an effort to shake this stinky congestion and exhaustion. (Think 10 o'clock. I can't even remember the last time I slept that late.) Sooo... waking up late and hitting the ground running... well, you know how THAT goes... ;)