It's Very Possible

I strongly suspect that BB has an APD (Audio Processing Disorder). Over the last while I've done a fair bit of research, and it fits only too well. I already know that if we had him tested and he learned he had a "label" - particularly something to do with a learning disorder - it would devastate him. He's extremely needy and fragile right now. Even though he tries desperately to pretend he's tough (he's not), and has it all in control (ha!), and is amazing (he is), and is smart (he is, but only in some ways), and is wiser than everyone around (well, you know the answer to that one).

This throws me as his stepmom into a really weird place. Because, not only am I the one to sound the alarm to his dad, but I'm the one who has to deal with all this entails - morning, noon, and night, and on top of all that - I'm his teacher.

Just call me Super(step)mom!

Ha.

I've attempted to find some tools for how to help him overcome this (or at least equip him with tools to cope with it). Because he CANNOT go through life as he is. Just trust me on this. I know I'm "only the stepmom", and have stepped into his life when he's already more than half grown, but this is NOT okay. He's socially awkward (much more than most 14 yr olds). He's disconnected (with schoolwork, with conversations, with following instructions). He gets stuck on repeat all. the. time. He reads the dictionary and the encyclopedia for fun. Which would be fine, except that he talks like them, too. He has no opinions of his own. All his "opinions" are things he's read in books - which he will repeat back to you almost word for word. He is absolutely horrendous at story problems and logic problems in math. He's almost like a little robot. Push a button. He'll say one thing. Push another button. He'll say something else. He has a very hard time holding a decent conversation. And by decent I mean the skill of holding a conversation - not a monologue. Or a staring contest. I'm not sure which is worse.

Things are definitely better now than they were. A LOT better. But we still have a long way to go.

Can learning disabilities be "taught" or "given" to someone? If so, I think that's what happened. The environment he was in before he came to me was completely stifling. Full of anger. Full of bigotry. Full of control. And manipulation.

I've been working hard to help change things. And we've come a long ways. I just hope we reach the goal before he's 18. But at this point, I really don't think we will.

I need to be praying more about it. For him. For me to know how to help him. For answers. For wisdom.