Biomom called them around Christmas, said she planned to leave the country she's been living in for the past two years, and move back to the states. I don't know if that means she's divorcing her current husband, or what. I mean, it's not normal for couples to live in separate countries for long periods of time, ya know? Not when they have the option of being together. I could understand couples not being together if the guy was, say a ship's captain, and it wasn't feasible to take his whole family along. But seriously? She's BEEN living over there, and they don't have children living with them. (Apparently he is as wonderful a dad as she is a mom, because his kids don't live with him either. *ahem*)
The reason she gave BB and LM that she was moving was "I miss you two so much!" But... oddly enough... she has moved halfway across the US from them. Yeah, that's how much she misses them. (And yes, she called again last week - for the whole five minutes she ever calls - to let them know what state she is now living in.) Oh, yeah, and... she's living with her sister. But she does apparently have a job at a bank now. Wonder how long this one will last.
Yes, I have an attitude tonight. A bad one.
I'd like to take her back to court. See if we could get all her visitation rights taken away. But since we don't have documentation for things (like the time she locked them in the apartment every day for a week while she was at work - at ages 8 and 10, and the time she said she wanted them for two weeks - and had them back at the house in a couple days, and the time she said she wanted them for a couple days - and had them back at the house in a couple hours, and the times she's let them watch videos that no child should ever see, among many other things) I don't know that we'd get very far. And I definitely don't want to open up a can of worms. If ignoring her stupidity is the best route to protect the kids for now, well... then I'll keep my mouth shut about those things.
The incredibly sad part is... LM is ecstatic that she "wants them for the summer". He keeps going on and on about how it's been two years since he's seen her, and how great it's going to be to see her again, and how when he first sees her he'll probably just burst into tears and give her a huge hug. It breaks my heart. Horrid though she is, terrible mother though she is, she is STILL his MOM. And he loves her. BB is very hum-ho about the whole thing. He's been talking more about friends that he might get to see this summer, not so much anything to do with her. He's very calm (at least on the surface) about this stuff. I think he's seen her flake out so many times that he's refusing to get his hopes up again.
I find myself wondering how much proof we would need of things happening to get all her rights taken away. And then I catch myself, and wonder if that really WOULD be best for the kids. I really don't know.
Praying, praying, praying...
You know it is alarming - and these last two posts make me wanna cry and hold those two sweet boys :( :(
ReplyDeleteI did want to say though, it is quite normal in some cultures/countries for families to live separately. I don't know about biomum/her spouse - but my husband was raised like that. His dad lived in one country, his mum lived in another. They holidayed together every year and visited when they could. Dad sent money back for the family - he could make more money where he was, and the family could have a higher standard of living in Australia.
I have friends now here in HK who are considering doing the same thing. One friend (Australian) cannot get her kids into school in Hong Kong so they are considering moving Mum and 3 kids to Thailand and the Dad will continue to work in HK and they'd travel back and forth. Other friends are planning to send their kids overseas to boarding school - for PRIMARY...
I know that where I am from, all that is so out of the ordinary, but in other places, it's very "normal".